Facts Over Feelings?
I’ve got a bone to pick.
This is something I’ve wanted to write about for a bit now, but I just didn’t want to sound like I was shading anyone in particular. Thankfully, no one in my life evidently fits this bill, so I can talk freely.
Or write freely. You sha get me.
Okay.
You know how people refer to themselves as being ‘logical rather than emotional’? Yeah.
WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?
Bro. Sis. I promise you — your emotions, feelings and preconceived notions will colour your interpretation of whatever set of facts is presented to you.
At least, that’s what I’ve grown to think.
Like, it’s literally why court cases can last for years when many facts are certain; because these facts have to be interpreted based on an overarching ideology — which is provided by the law.
C’est la vie; c’est comme ça. Accept it.
I posit that things work the same way in our brains — we receive facts, and then interpret them based on our own ideologies and principles. In fact, we receive only facts we want to receive. Like, before they even get to the processing centre. For almost every ideological conflict / disagreement I’ve ever seen play out (especially on that Twitter of an app 💀) there have been incredibly convincing arguments on either side. Which you’ll only see if, and only if, you’re willing to listen and to seek stuff out for a long time before coming to a conclusion.
I once told my cousin, “there probably are facts to back up anything in the world, but you believe who you give your attention to.”
Are there exceptions? Obviously. But you can’t afford to see every issue in the world as black or white. In this world of ours, there exists a very diverse shade called grey. And if your retina can’t pick it up, there just may be a problem.
Over time, I’ve observed that the person who’ll win an argument isn’t necessarily the person who’s objectively ‘right’. It’s usually the person that can assert more facts within the shortest time; the person caught at a time when they happened to be prepared for it; or the person who is trained in the art of argument (side eye to all my friends currently in law school).
For me, the overarching ideology that rules my life is found in Scripture, and in a tested conviction of God’s love for me. Outside of things expressly discussed in the Bible, I am very reluctant to hold on to any ideology with my life, to drag anyone for disagreeing with me, to look down on someone for being ‘wrong’, or to align myself too strongly with anybody’s perspective.
Dey your dey, make I stay my stay.
In my pov, people who talk down on emotions and think it’s a virtue to be cold and emotionless — they view their own emotions as a weakness that can sabotage them, instead of a precious way that we’re able to connect with people in the metaphysical.
Can feelings sabotage you? Big YES. Can you do something about it as a Christian? Bigger YES. But feelings are not your enemy.
Recently, I struggled with a very complex and confusing feeling. I discussed it with ✨ma personne✨ and we were prayerfully able to discern where it had originated from (basically, The Holy Spirit showed me a picture that explained what was really going on), as well as the factors in my life that were feeding it.
I took out these factors, and the feelings went away.
My point — don’t look at someone and tell them they’re being emotional. That’s a whole, entire human being! What exactly is the emotion? Are they furious? Disappointed? Sad? Reflective? Defensive? Figure out what the emotion is, figure out why it’s there, and work through it.
It’s not by being logical. If I hear ‘facts don’t care about feelings’ again one more time, I can deck somebody.
With these few points of mine, I hope I’ve been able to convince you and not to confuse you… that instead of striving to be more ‘logical’ than emotional, we should always acknowledge whatever emotions and bias are present, and this will bring us closer to an objective conclusion.
